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2009 Show Titled:

"Nocturnal E. Missions"

Mass Brass Places Second Once Again at DCA...by Many Moore

Rochester (AP) The stage was set for a show down of epic proportions. This years show was probably THE most demanding show I have ever heard from this "band of misfits", and as one fan put it, "Aside from the Skyliners, you guys are the oldest, ugliest minicorps in the country." Well, I don't know about the oldest part, but.. Ok, back to the performance. Well I have to say these guys might be getting older in their effort to catch up with their counterparts from Long Island, but their performance level just keeps rising. I lost count as to how many different soloist they presented out front, but it clearly had to be half the corps standing out there on their own at any given time. This is somewhat of an anomaly in the activity. Heck, it is rumored that one corps had 2 Grammy awarded performers, and it wasn't the champions. The show opened up with a piece affectionately titled "Larryguena" named after their own grammy award winning arranger, Larry Kerchner. This "anti-Kenton" arrangement of this drum corps favorite was at a tempo I didn't think these guys could even tap their foot to. The opening statement from the lower brass line was a sign of things to come. Then came that mellophone section that was truly breathtaking this year. If it is true that "God gives quotas on notes played" this section clearly had to use all that up and then some. One clear difference this year was the effort on control. In years past, these guys would sit back on their heels and peel paint. This years edition clearly were trying for a "Gen X" controlled show. I would say they succeeded, but clearly to the dismay to some of their most ardent fans. Next came a great tune made famous by the "Brian Setzer Orchestra". Very tastefully starting with a sweet solo by resident hall of famer, Eddie "Boom Boom" Hayward. What an excellent blend of musicianship in this tune. I will admit I didn't think they had it in them. Those contra's were playing notes I didn't think G horns had in them! Ok after all of this what's next? Sops dropped their horns in favor of somebody's scraps of wood. What came next was priceless. The sops seemed to want to show off their new dentures while clapping to what I thought would be that old disco tune, "Car Wash", but turned out to be that song that nobody seemed to remember the name of, "Don't let me be misunderstood". Disco? Yep, done very well I might add. I closed my eyes and had a horrible sight of them wearing these "royal blue" leisure suits. OH GOD, ERASE THAT VISION, PLEASE! Again more outstanding solo work, and the finale was the punch we were all waiting for. Definitely the exclamation point on this years show. Scores announced and bridesmaids once again, but then came the real winning tradition, "The Drinking of da' Beer"! In this contest NOBODY can come close, I assure you!

So, this season is in the books, and now it's time for some much needed time off. In the offing for next year appears to be 4 contests with one right in our back yard in Boston. Remains to be seen if this level of performance can be kept up from these "Fat Ugly" corps, but my money would be squarely place on the "YES" box. Many Moore signing off ...remember "Play Hard or Stay Home"!

Mass Brass Wins In Rochester

Mike "Damian" Colson Holds the Winning Ticket

In a rather strange twist, one of the famed "big man little horn" line wins $1003 in the 50/50 drawing at the prelims Saturday evening. The ticket number was ****666. This was seen as a sign that it should be and was squandered on beverages of ones choice. In an unpresendented scene, Mr. Coulson was seen sprinting to the the "wad "o" cash". He had no idea he could move that fast!

MASS BRASS WINS.....The hearts of fans in Lawrence Mass.

Harrisburg (AP) - A little rough around the edges, but awesome none the less, Mass Brass made their 2009 debut in Lawrence at the annual Mission Drums competition. They performed what will become their 2009 run to the championship show before a crowd of thousands. Fans of the corps were seen onenly weeping. It was unclear whether this weeping was from a poor performance or just sheer joy to once again see the Royal Crew perform once again. Video to come soon.

You can see some clips from past years here:

Malaga

Malaguena/El Gato Triste

Legend of A One Eyed Sailor

Mike....Sticks it to the crowd!

A Legend comes to A Legend!

Legendary arranger Larry Kerchner has arrived to work with the Legendary Mass Brass!
South Boston, Ma. (BP) Last we saw our boys er and girl of summer, they were taking a different tact, still staying in the jazz idiom, but more a straight forward big band type. Now comes news that a true legend from the drum corps world has stepped forward to take the corps to the "next" level. After getting their butts handed to them in Rochester last year, the brain trust met and made the decision to come out of last year stronger. One Larry Kerchner has come to the fold. Larry will be doing the arrangements for the corps. With several phone calls, and some negotiations the "Monster of Music" was thrilled to come back to Boston, where much of his knowledge was kindled at the music factory known as "Berklee College of Music". Larry has written for more corps than can be mentioned here. Most notably The Bridgemen, and The Cabs. The corps will return to an "in your face" drum corps style that made them famous. Mr. Moran said in a phone interview, "personnel has not changed, desire has not changed, only thing missing was a cohesive show design that Mr. Kerchner will bring to the corps". If this is true, look out MCA! Mr. Moran also hinted at another "blockbuster" announcement yet to come concerning a visual package. Stay tuned, this is one corps that has decided to not roll over, but to stand up and be counted!

Here we find Sniper Kitty, and his new "Kingpin". Unfortunately we could only find a sketch of Captain Buzz!

Here we find MB1 in the North End of Boston. Just out of camera shot was the color guard. MB2 was at an undisclosed location. Confused? So am I!

What a Sound!

Mass Brass' Flying Polar Bear Spooking the Bejesus
Out of Pennsylvania National Guard and US Air Force



Pennsylvania Air National Guard State Adjutant General Ren Polaski said at a press conference in early July that the character of the UFOs had changed since last year, including sightings of more conventional aircraft that appear to be the Mass Brass's own air force. "Our own Air National Guard and the US Air Force pilots have both reported seeing a polar bear flying a 1943 Messerschmitt 262, an antique turbojet, in an open cockpit. The polar bear appears to be friendly but our pilots have been instructed drive the bear and his plane away from Scranton if he approaches within 5 miles of the city."

Associated Press reporters in Scranton were rebuffed in attempts to contact Mass Brass spokesmen and spokesanimals. However, a three-month investigation has yielded the following information from public records, interviews with Congressional investigators, NASA officials as well as recovering members of the Mass Brass and exorcists that have worked with families of former and current Mass Brass members:

• The Mass Brass can and do regularly catapult themselves backwards and forwards in time and space using nothing but their music and malt beverages
• The corps has almost no ability to control where they end up in time or space, except for a rudimentary homing capability to "reset" themselves back to the current and closest Monday morning so they can get to work on time
• The corps members' apparent "immortality" is a cheap trick based on their ability to appear to have been "living" during different eras of history. Old photographs and ancient hieroglyphics that record the Mass Brass's appearances all make references to beer, indicating the corps was, indeed, just stopping by for a beer or two
• Mass Brass's sloppy inter-dimensional conveyance creates massive disturbances in the space-time continuum, disorienting psychics, time travelers and galaxy-hopping extra-terrestrials, often resulting in crashes and irresolvable historical paradoxes
• They've attracted the ire of enraged extra-terrestrials, psychics and time travelers who see them as rivals - and as loose cannons that threaten their safety - and who have banded together to stop the unruly peripatetic drum corps
• Though of apparent humble means, the Mass Brass acquired Easter Island from Chile in late 2002 and are using it as a staging area for beer busts and repairs of their dirigible
• The Mass Brass baritones can and do communicate with whales through their horns and regularly communicate with super-intelligent who that are allegedly "starring" in the corps' alleged production of Aida

Scranton Minister of Public Safety Jan Helca Baruk said he had deputized a brigade of Civic Psychics to calm the fans, repel UFOs and squelch the drum corps' awesome psychic capacities. "They've been training for months for this event. The incredible psychic powers of the Mass Brass is legendary and unbound by the constraints of time and space. Pray for us."



Mass Brass Evades Scrutiny, Per Usual

Calls to Mass Brass's offices in South Boston and Easter Island by the Associated Press went unreturned.